“Have you ever hit your child?” This is a question that raises many meanings about the method of educating children in the family. Currently, scientific research continuously points out the negative consequences of beating children, which can cause unforeseen consequences. Let’s learn about the negative effects of this on children’s development.

What happens if you hit your child

When you spank your child the consequences can range from immediate to long-term effects on your child’s mental and emotional health. Here are some possibilities of what can happen when you choose to spank your child.

Children are numb, silent and waiting to be beaten.

• Children feel numb: When experiencing periodic spanking, some children may become numb and no longer feel pain or love. They may think that spanking is normal and insignificant, and therefore no longer feel surprised or upset by these experiences.
• Being quiet and waiting for punishment: Children can learn to protect themselves by being quiet and waiting for punishment. Instead of expressing their feelings or trying to solve a problem, they may become quiet and withdraw into themselves when they feel threatened. This can lead to a passive mood and a loss of confidence in communication and social interactions.

The consequences of children becoming apathetic and silent can affect their relationships with adults, especially with their parents. The isolation and lack of communication can create a large gap between children and their loved ones, causing discrimination and distrust in the relationship with parents.

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Angry and ready to fight back

• Anger: One of the natural reactions of children to being spanked is anger. They may feel that the punishment is unfair and angry without understanding why. This anger can lead to strong and difficult to control emotions, especially for young children.
• Willingness to fight back: Perceptions of injustice and hurt can make children more likely to fight back against being hit. Instead of accepting and enduring, children may begin to react by rebelling and fighting back, showing their disobedience to adults.

Children who show anger and are ready to fight back when beaten can have profound negative effects on both their psychology and behavior. Instead of using punitive education methods, creating a safe and warm home environment where respect and love are paramount will help children develop stronger and more confident.

Smash objects

When children experience negative experiences from being spanked, one of the natural reactions they may exhibit is to break things. This behavior is often seen as an expression of anger, frustration, and an attempt to express negative emotions that they do not know how to express. Below are the possibilities and consequences that can occur when children break things after being spanked:

• Expressions of anger and dissatisfaction: When being spanked, children may feel angry and dissatisfied with the situation they are facing. To express these feelings, children may choose to destroy things, such as banging on doors, breaking furniture, or throwing things on the floor to express their dissatisfaction and displeasure.
• Trying to express emotions: Children often do not know how to express their feelings effectively, especially when they feel hurt or unfair. Breaking things can be a way for children to express anxiety, frustration, and other negative emotions that they do not know how to express.
• Psychological and behavioral consequences: Destroying things can have negative psychological consequences for children. It can create negative behavior, causing children to learn to express their emotions by destroying things instead of discussing and solving problems rationally and peacefully.
• Impact on the home environment: Breaking things not only affects children but also the home environment. It can cause tension, disharmony and conflict in the family, especially if parents do not understand the cause and how to effectively solve the problem.

The child’s behavior of destroying things after being beaten is a sign of anger, dissatisfaction and an attempt to express negative emotions that the child does not know how to express. To solve this problem, parents need to create a safe and warm environment where the child can feel confident to discuss and solve problems peacefully.

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Children’s psychology when growing up

When children experience spanking as children, their psychology as adults can reflect the profound consequences of those negative experiences. Here are some of the possible consequences that can occur as children grow up and how spanking as a child affects them:

Children are always scared because they don’t know when they will be beaten.

• Constant Anxiety: Being hit unexpectedly at a young age will make the child live in a constant state of anxiety. The child may feel constantly alert and ready for a sudden hit from an adult, which creates a sense of insecurity and instability in the child’s mind.
• Constant stress and fear: A fearful mentality makes children live in constant stress and fear. Children may not be able to concentrate on daily activities or participate in fun activities with friends due to anxiety and fear.
• Lack of trust in the environment: The uncertainty of safety and the surprise of being beaten can destroy a child’s trust in the environment. Children may not trust adults, dare to share their feelings or seek help when needed.
• Impact on psychological and social development: Fear can affect a child’s psychological and social development. Children can become introverted, autistic and lack confidence in communication and social interaction, which can affect their relationships and future development opportunities.
• Consequences for mental health: Fear can lead to mental health problems such as depression, anxiety and other mental disorders, affecting a child’s daily life and well-being.

Children will be lethargic or have low self-esteem.

When children experience physical abuse at a young age without understanding the reasons and frequency, they may react by becoming withdrawn and feeling a loss of confidence in their own abilities and not knowing how to accept or overcome the negative experiences they have had. They may feel that they are unworthy of love and care from others. This withdrawal and low self-esteem can affect a child’s mental and social development. It can also cause mental health problems such as depression, anxiety and negative thinking, affecting a child’s daily life and well-being.

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Ways to help children realize their mistakes

• Reward and praise good behavior : Instead of spanking a child for misbehavior, reward him for good behavior. When a group of children play together, pay attention and praise the children who play by the rules and behave properly. This is an effective way for children to learn from each other.
• Show your child natural consequences: Natural consequences allow your child to learn from his or her mistakes. For example, when your child refuses to eat, you can cut him or her off from that meal. When your child starts to get hungry and is not offered food, you can explain your mistake to him or her.
• Ignore minor misbehavior: You can ignore minor mistakes like complaining, being tired, crying, etc. by pretending you can’t hear and not responding. Over time, your child will understand that being polite is the best way to get people to care and meet their needs.
• Let your child think for himself: Give your child time to calm down and think about his behavior. This is a useful life skill. To be effective, your child should be ignored, not cared for, and have some privileges such as watching TV, playing with toys, etc. taken away. This discomfort and irritation will remind your child to behave well next time.

After reading Autoru ’s article above and considering the issue of hitting children, it is important to realize that the method of education by using force not only causes psychological damage to children but also affects the relationship between parents and children. Instead of using force to solve problems, find an approach with sympathy, understanding and respect. Listen and learn about your child’s feelings, and guide and encourage them through positive educational methods. In this way, parents can build a peaceful family environment, where love and understanding are the basis for creating children’s confidence and awareness. In the journey of raising children, respect and love will be the final destination we aim for, helping children grow strong and happy.